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Never moon a werewolf.
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He turned his life around.
He used to be depressed and miserable.
Now he’s miserable and depressed.
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The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
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Confusius say: He who smoke pot, choke on handle.
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He who laughs last thinks slowest
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Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
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Antique is just another word for second-hand.
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If idiots could fly
This place would be an airport.
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When the going gets tough, the tough use duct tape.
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Life is like a sled dog team: if you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
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<——– The information went data way ——–
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”The Universe began many millions of years ago with a big bang…. No one knows what exactly caused this, but kids playing with matches are suspected”
from “Science Made Stupid”
by Tom Weller,
Published by Houghton Mifflin company
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XMODEM - A spot-marking transfer protocol.
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I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
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Most of my faults
are not my fault.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
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Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
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Sure, everyone wants to save the whales, but not one voice is raised
on behalf of the plankton!
-Richard Guindon
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Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
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Love your enemies.
At least they don’t try to borrow money from you.
-Leonard Louis Levinson
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Comedy, like Medicine, was never meant to be practiced by the general public.
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